Hello beautiful people!
It's been a while since I last blogged about my personal life in this lil online diary.
I just can't believe that I'm actually typing this blog post.


Tbh that until today I still can't believe that I'm pregnant as everything is so surreal to me! 
By the time you guys saw this post, I assumed that it's the 4th or 5th month of my pregnancy?
 I do vlog about it on my Youtube channel too, which I'll link everything at this end of the post.
But now, I'm gonna try my best to rewind back all the details that I could remember in this post.

22nd June 2020
Today is the day that I've missed my period for the third day
as my period is pretty punctual all the time. 
It might have some delay like 1-2 days but this time is really different.
Plus I do feel my breast are getting sore and tender last few weeks.
It's like you're having super sensitive nipples and sore breast which is pretty unusual for me. 

But I swear that nothing comes across my mind about pregnancy
I just feel that perhaps I should go for gynae to have my check-up, 
as I never have any gynae check-up before in my lifetime.
Maybe there's something unusual happening to my ovary or something,
as my sleeping habit is really bad for the past few months,
plus my period volume is not that much and having much blood clumps too. 
I've been telling hubby about my missing period for a few days already,
he also mentions that I need to get my pap smear/scan done before we planning for pregnancy.

So when I woke up this morning, 
I took the pregnancy test that we've bought earlier and took the test with my morning pee.
As my pregnant friend told me before, morning pee is the most accurate pee that shows the result. 
The moment I placed the pregnancy test on the flat surface,
I accidentally saw there's a double line of the test when I walked away from the table.
My heart pumping so fast till I can't breathe and my leg feel so weak to stand.
I just can't believe what I saw. 
Two Lines.
No faded lines. Two clear lines.

I just can't breathe, have so many complex feelings and I burst into tears.
Too many complex feelings that I'm really hard to explain.
Everything is so unplanned.
We try a few times naturally in the past 2 years but it doesn't work out every time we expect it to be.
Just can't believe that it is two lines this time. 
Hubby is like so so so happy when the moment I ask him to come upstairs after the test,
you can see from the video that he's smiling all the way (T.T)
which melts my heart every time when I saw the scene.
For me, I have so many complex feelings that I can't even describe
As the past few months, I've been so hectic busy about my work and both of us rarely get a good rest tbh.
More towards the feelings of confusion, lost, omg, is that true? 
and of course mix feelings of happiness as we've been trying it for a few times?
But hubby is really really happy to know that I'm pregnant,
 I'll insert the pregnancy video at the end of this blogpost. 

The 5th Week
- - - - - - - - - - 
30th June 2020
After a week later we went for my first gynae check as we are pretty busy for the week,
and I still can't believe that I'm pregnant although it's been a week already since I discover it.
I tend to think a lot that
what if it's an ectopic pregnancy?
what if the baby is not normal?
what if.....

After the doctor's appointment and thank god that everything is completely good and normal.
Just that the baby is still pretty tiny, so the doctor has to go with the pelvic ultrasound
to check the size and shape of the baby whether he/she is in good health.
Here's our first picture with our baby! 
omg I still can't believe there's a human being growing inside me.

I still feel pretty weird about the pelvic scan cause it's my very first time. OMG.
Up till today, I still yet to feel any changes, in terms of food craving or morning sickness,
yet my doctor says, it's still yet to come. 
I'm a lil doubt of that, but let's see about this. 

The 9th Week
- - - - - - - - - - - 
30th July 2020
Hi, I'm back again.
Can't believe that every time I update the week is always fall on the 30th of the month.
So what the doctor says is FREAKING TRUE.
Everything is just Yet To Come.
My mum has serious morning sickness when she pregnant us, 
so I think is a family thing that going on. I'm having a freaking serious morning sickness too.
My morning sickness, I shouldn't call it as morning sickness
it should be WHOLE DAY SICKNESS started getting on me on the 6th week!
I just can't be myself on the 6th week,
all I want is lying down 24/7.
I don't really feel fatigued at all, just that I keep nausea when I walk/move around a lot.
Just like you just wanna sit and hug the toilet bowl whole day without going anywhere.  

I can't even eat anything. Totally lost my appetite and interest in food. 
I really hate food cause I'm scared of throwing up every day every second.
So all I want is something light and in soup form and only rice is prefer.
But I can only have just a half palm hand size of portion into my tummy.
If I feel more appetite and have more than half of the palm hand, 
it will all end up throwing up in the sink. 
Plus, my sense of smell is like x10000000 sensitive, 
I can smell everything from far just like having a super ultrasonic nose. 
Which is so difficult for me all the time!
As I do have a candle business and I smell my fragrance oil all the time while making it.
It makes me feel so dizzy and nausea when smelling anything that has a scent.
but luckily I have hubby to help me while making the candle,
so what I could do is some light work, cause that's the only thing I can do too.

I hate my shampoo, hate all the body oil that I purposely bought for my belly, 
which is so expensive omg.
I hate all the diffuser in the corner of my house and even my hand soup.
I hate all sweet things, no more sweet / dessert craving.
I hate fried food, including fried chicken, chips and etc.
I hate Western, Japanese food cause I can't deal with the creaminess of the food and flavouring.
I hate avocado and egg too, which basically is the lover of my life previously.
Now I hate it.
And I hate all the food that I ate after throwing up cause it stuck in my taste bud for the whole night.
So basically hate almost everything in life typically. HAHAHA

The only neutral food for me is, Chinese food with rice. 
Especially economic rice.
I used to hate Orange so much before pregnant, and now the only fruit I like is orange.
That's all the food choices that are neutral to me for now.

At some point in my 5th-6th weeks, I really doubt what's the purpose of living.
cause all I did is lying down 24/7, non-stop vomiting, eating a small portion and repeat.
From a really busy hectic life till now, all I can only do is 
lying down and only focus on movie/phone, or else all I wanna do is throwing up again. 
I do breakdown and cried a few times about this,
I know that pregnant women is not supposed to cry but I feel so helpless and useless ok.
Really so glad that I have strong pillar support from hubby,
keep calming, loving and patient with me all the time.
Tell me to accept the new me and take things slow and easy.
He basically did all of the house chores cause I'm so weak every day, 
I'm so glad that I found the best hubby in the world (T.T)

I'm now in the 9th week already.
My nausea is getting better during the day, but still very serious at night. 
Just the past few days, night vomit is so serious like I'm vomiting ocean from my mouth.
Food is coming out from my nose and mouth uncontrolled till I almost can't breathe.
Luckily eye is not connected to the stomach, or else I think my food is coming from my eyes too.
Almost every night time if I sense that the ocean vomiting is on the way,
I have to sit down and vomit, or else I'll pass out like seriously.
But I'm slowly getting used to it already as I could have a good first meal almost every day now,
just like normal portion back to the usual me, so I'm pretty blessed already.
But I'm still very afraid of night time cause I can't predict how it goes daily.
Up till today, I've loss 4 kgs since week 6th till today.
I've also spoke with my doctor about my problem, and what she say is
it's totally normal and it's better if have nausea as the baby will be more healthy.
The more serious = more healthy
What a joke man HAHAHA
I'll update you guys again when I passed my first trimester. 

The 13th Week
- - - - - - - - - - - - - 
24th Aug 2020 
Almost officially enter the 2nd trimester of pregnancy.
I'm getting better and better than previously since last week.
Can starting have some cheesy, western food, fried / fast food compare to few weeks ago.
I still can't really accept sweet stuff, especially dessert. Urgh.
Waiting for the sweet tooth moment to come back to me soon.
But what bothers me a lot since the last 2 weeks is, my stomach bloating during the night.
like OMG super bloating that kind.
I've stopped night vomit since last week I guess?
yet the stomach bloating bothers me a lot that I need to take my dinner as early as before 4-6pm
just like the days, I have serious night vomiting in the past few weeks,
I need to have dinner as early as possible, 
or else my stomach is like filling up with a super inflated almost explode balloon.
My skin condition is getting dry, my whole body and especially my face.
No matter how many sleeping mask, serum that I applied,
I still have flaky skin the next day on my cheek, chin and nose area.
I guess is the hormone problem?
But besides that, nothing much too serious.
A lot of my friend told me to enjoy the second trimester as much as possible,
but I hope I don't eat too much and overweight HAHAH
my ideal weight is not gaining more than 8kgs during this pregnancy.
and will start to pick up some light exercise after I enter 4-5 months of pregnancy
as I'm super active in exercise before pregnancy and early pregnancy
like I'm having intense cardio and zumba 3 times a week
before I knew I was pregnant (like pregnant around 4 weeks)
cause I feel my stamina is not as good as last time 
I feel so freaking tired after 3-4 hours of shopping and all I need is laying down and nap whole day.
and I do did some yoga stretching too every night to stretch my sore back and waist.
I really feel that it helps a lot and I have less to minimal sore back and waist now. 
But I'm getting and feeling better, can't wait to enjoy my second-trimester babymoon to the full.

That's all for my long update for my pregnancy!
I would love to hear advice for what to eat, what to have on pregnancy from mummy!
cause I haven't start taking any extra vitamins yet as I keep vomiting previously.
Do let me know if you have any recommendation, would like to know more 

Ending my post with my video!
Can't wait to share more about pregnancy with you guys soon.
Much loves. xx.


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